Heero's Day
by Quatregirl
Summary: Heero is having a bad day and he can't understand why. Funny! Please read!


Heero's Day  
    Heero woke up one fine morning feeling simply great...or as great as the Perfect Soldier could feel, at least. The sun was shining, thousands of people were dying on earth and on the colonies every second, and Relena was gone...what a great day! He climbed out of bed and walked downstairs to get something to eat before Duo ate it all.  
When he arrived, everyone was gone. Everyone, that is, except for Duo, who was sitting at the table eating bacon, eggs, cereal, pancakes, waffles, and the purdy golden pop tart.   
Heero pulled out a box of cereal and sat down. Duo looked up fro his breakfast and smirked at Heero. "Lookin' good today." he said, flashing a rather disturbing smile.  
"What?" Heero asked. Duo just smiled. Then he smiled wider. Pretty soon, Duo was laughing hard.  
"What the heck is so funny!" Heero cried. Duo's deranged laughter continued.  
"Tell me or I'll wring you neck!!!!" Heero threatened, putting his hands around Duo's throat. Duo didn't stop. Heero shook him with all his might, but the God of Death kept on laughing.  
"Okay, you know what???" Heero said, very pissed off. "I'm just gonna ignore you. you want me to put a gun to your head, I know that, but I won't!!!! I'll just walk away!!!!!" So he did. Heero walked away from Duo and out to the garden, where he caught sight of Trowa.  
"Oh, you're such a cute widdle biddy, squirrelly-wirrley, aren't you?" Trowa cooed to a confused and frightened squirrel. "Aren't you???"  
Heero sighed, walked on, and tried not to ask. Unfortunately, his curiosity got the better of him.  
"What in the world?" he mumbled to himself. Trowa looked up at Heero and began to laugh for once in a very long time. Even the squirrel he had been playing with seemed to be laughing at him...in a squirrelly sorta way.  
"What so funny?" Heero asked, trying not to get angry and maintain his monotone.  
"It's just that...." Trowa sputtered, but got no further.  
"Chip chip chi!" the squirrel giggled...at least, what appeared to be giggling.  
"What?!" Heero asked, getting slightly annoyed. Trowa laughed harder. Pretty soon, he couldn't take it any longer and pounded his head against the sidewalk. The squirrel did the same. Trowa went into a concussion from repeatedly knocking his head against a hard surface (concrete), jerking and vomiting in his unconscious state, though he seemed to still be laughing.. The squirrel did the same.  
"Weirdos." Heero muttered, and continued on. Pretty soon, he entered the city. There he found Wu Fei...inside a department store examining foundations.  
"Am I more a nude or a coconut?" he mumbled to himself.  
"Wu Fei?"  
"Heero! I wasn't acting like a weak onna, I was...I...I..WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!" Wu Fei exploded into laughter. He dropped to the floor as his knees gave in from under him and rolled on the floor laughing very hard. Heero raised an eyebrow, decided not to stress himself, and walked on, ignoring Wu Fei.  
Heero walked down the streets of the city ignoring the many people who stared, laughed, covered their children's eyes, or dropped to the floor, covered their own eyes, and screamed, "MY EYES ARE BURNING OUT!!! I MUST BE IN HELL!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!"   
Heero ignored them all, telling himself, "I am the Perfect Soldier, I could kill them all in an instant, but then I'll be put in the can, so I'll just kill them in my mind." He closed his eyes and imagined Duo succumbing to the forced viewing of naked Relena pictures.  
"Hi Heero!" came a cheerful voice from behind him. It was Quatre.  
"Oh good!" Heero thought. "Quatre's a nice guy, he'll tell me what's going on!"  
"H-how's it going?" Quatre asked, obviously suppressing laughter. "I was...was....HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!"  
"What's going on!" Heero demanded. He couldn't take much more of this. "WHAT'S SO FUNNY!!!!" he cried, shaking Quatre.  
"It's just that...you're.....you're.... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!" Quatre couldn't bring himself to stop laughing. Heero screamed very very loud and belted home. He ran into his room, slammed the door shut, and faced his mirror. It was then that he realized he was naked.  



End file.
